Marriage is not a word

→ Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).

→ Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.

→ A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

→ A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

→ There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."

→ Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

→ Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

→ Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

→ Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

→ The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes...